Remember Who You Are

beauty, inspiration, lifestyle, poetry, Uncategorized

I Remember. 

I remember who I was. 

As a little girl and as a young woman.

I’ve always been a free spirit.

I was the one sitting on the swings in college, journal and pen in hand, and gazing dreamily up at the clouds peacefully swirling gently across the sky.

The daydreamer. 

The romantic.

Smiling at the flowers. 

Pocahontas talking to the trees. 

Singing out loud, 

Not caring if anyone heard me. 

Imaginative. 

Getting lost in books of make-believe worlds that became real to me. 

Imagining of living in Middle Earth, where elves and hobbits were no myth or legend. 

I’m an Adventurer. 

I’m the one who thinks “too much”. 

Who feels “too much”. 

The one who loves deeply with all of her heart, 

And yet fears to love with everything, 

Afraid of losing that which she loves. 

I’m the little girl who played with dolls, 

And also made mud-pies baked in the sun, 

And climbed trees bare foot. 

I’m a dreamer.

A wanderer. 

A traveler. 

A lover of the mystery. 

Of new. 

New places.

New faces. 

Stories. 

Tell me your story, please, 

And I’ll tell you mine. 

I have a way of laughing

That makes my nose crinkle 

And I sometimes even snort 

When something really makes me laugh.

 

I’m a believer.

In Magic. 

In miracles. 

In dreams coming true. 

“Remember who you are,”

Mufasa, with love, sternly reminds his son, Simba, 

In “The Lion King”. 

That scene has always been so powerful to me.

God, with love, sternly reminds me, 

“Remember who you are,”

As I gaze up at the clouds again. 

Maybe I’ve forgotten, along the way.

Because, well, Life. 

Life happened. 

Somewhere along the journey, 

The hard stuff happened. 

The pain. The loss. The fight. The battle. 

The trauma. The broken heart.

 

“Look harder…” 

Rafiki told Simba as he looked into the water. 

Look harder, 

And you’ll see her again. 

You’ll catch glimpses, 

Of You. 

The you before all the pain. 

She’s still there. 

I don’t see her all the time. 

But, I remember. 

The dreamer, the gypsy, the romantic, care-free spirit. 

Who would love to get caught up in the rain, 

And dance, 

And laugh so hard 

That that crinkle nose can be seen again. 

Who dreams of a wildflower wreath on her head, 

Her hair blowing in the wind

As she rides bare-back on a horse. 

A horse that is just as wild and free

As she is. 

I Remember. 

I remember who I was. 

I am still all those things.

 

I will not forget. 

It’s All Gonna Be Magnificent

anxiety, beauty, blogger, christian living, Faith, God, inspiration, Uncategorized

“And there she stands

Throwing both her arms around the world

The world that doesn’t even know

How much it needs this little girl

It’s all gonna be magnificent, she says.”


Whenever I listen to these words from the beautiful, heart-stirring song by “Elbow”, it brings so many images to my mind. 
I see me. How and WHO I want to be. 
I see her vividly in my mind. 


She is laughing. 

She is Free. 

Dancing.

 
Smiling so big that it makes her crinkle her nose. The same smile that she knows her husband fell in love with her, many, many years ago. She still smiles and laughs, but is it the same? Is it as often, back when life seemed easier? More simple?

 
I see the “little girl” that I used to be. The me before “life got in the way.” Life has been beautiful and I Thank God for all my blessings. My husband. My beautiful daughter. I have truly been blessed beyond measure. But, like most of you, I have experienced pain and darkness. Sometimes I feel like it’s taken its toll on my spirit.

 
When this song plays, I see the woman I want to be. A woman who puts her wholehearted trust and confidence in God each and every day. Who believes that He will walk with her through whatever might come her way. Shouldn’t she know that, and have the deepest faith, because He’s always been with her, even in her darkest hours? She wants to believe that God will give her the desires of her heart, and He KNOWS her heart’s desires.

 
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25 


Do I want to be that woman?! Do I want to laugh without fear of the future? A resounding Yes! 


Do I want anxiety do my constant companion? 

Do I want fear to STOP Me? 


Can I use this fear, instead, as a CATALYST to drive me forward into the direction, the path, I want to go? Sometimes I think we get to a point in our lives where we get so fed up with… so tired of the way we’ve been living. The roadblocks standing in our way. 


And then we feel this anger rise within us. An anger because, we KNOW, we deserve better than this. We deserve to be treated better than we have been treating ourselves. We become angry at the Enemy for the lies and doubts he’s instilled within us, that we have been listening to for FAR TOO LONG. 


I know that God is walking with me on this journey. He knows where I’ve been. He knows my heart. He knows the power of Satan, and God knows the lies that I have held onto.

 
He’s been working on my heart. This has been a year of “growing pains.” 

Growth. 

Stagnancy.

 
A stirring. 


It’s painful to grow. But it is worth it! 


If you feel stuck, you can get out. A seed has to be planted in the ground, and it works hard to break out of its shell and through the earth to blossom into beauty. To see the sun and the light, sometimes it takes going through darkness. And it takes time. Patience. 


There’s a place where I want to be, and our family to be, that I envision.

 
Striving. 

Trying. 

Growing. 

Learning.


There’s been Resistance. It makes me laugh, because Satan sees. He sees me. He sees this stirring within me, the things I’m trying to let go of, and the good things of God that I’m trying to cling to. And he doesn’t want me to say goodbye to him. He wants to dwell in my heart, soul, spirit, and mind.

 
But he doesn’t belong there.

 
God does. 


And I laugh, because I know that…

“It’s All Gonna Be Magnificent.”

Laugh

beauty, blogger, blogging, dance, inspiration, lifestyle, Live, Uncategorized

“Savour.

Meet with who and what Inspires you.

Linger like you belong.

Do not be rushed.

Laugh as much as you can.

Remember being alive today was a Beautiful thing.

You have Songs inside you.

The earth is waiting for her to Dance.”

-S.C. Lourie